


What If They're Dating?

by MiddlingTheBest



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Remus, Gen, Misunderstanding, Overly curious and well-meaning but oblivious friends, aromantic patton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddlingTheBest/pseuds/MiddlingTheBest
Summary: The question of whether Remus and Patton are dating is currently the most hotly debated topic in the friend group. Well, among everyone but the two in question. They can’t say they haven’t tried to give them their answers but really, the others hadn’t actually asked them and it was almost funny how long it had been going on for. Almost.Reposted from Tumblr for the last day of Pride month.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	What If They're Dating?

Remus and Patton had nothing in common except their friend group. They had only met through Roman and as far as any of them had been aware, that was where their "friendship" ended. Patton had made it clear very early in their collective meetings that Remus’s crude humour didn't sit well with him. Remus, after every cringe, every "well now, kiddo...", rarely held back with his criticisms and gripes about how boring he was. So when they moved in together, needless to say they were all a bit shocked.

They'd been interrogated for days. Roman had rounded on Remus immediately, demanding to know if he was kidnapping his friend. Virgil had sat down with Patton on his own, then again with Janus and finally with Logan as well to figure out why he was doing it and to coax him out of the idea. It was around this time, they reckoned, that the now fateful phrase, "we just get along really well on our own!" was uttered.

It had been Patton who had said it, trying to placate Virgil after so many talks, but Roman had inevitably heard, they were all gossipy bitches sometimes, and he _ran_ with it.

"What does that even mean?!" He ranted to the others. Virgil had joined him quickly on this dizzying teacup ride of worrying emotions but for once, it was Roman who was spinning the wheel. They kept circling the phrase, staring at it until they were sick and them circled it some more. If Logan and Janus had joined them on this ride then Logan was impressively resilient as he suffered silently through it all, but the entertainment factor for Janus seemed to be rapidly losing its appeal.

In a whiplash inducing move, he grabbed the figurative wheel spinning them around with one simple suggestion. "Maybe they're dating."

Roman looked about as sick as Virgil felt. They barely paused to look at each other before they were reaching for the wheel and the ride started over again.

Logan got sick of it first, leaving them to it not long after but Janus was enjoying himself once again, watching the carnage unfolding in front of him.

\----

They'd been living together for almost a month when Patton stormed into their flat in a very un-Patton-like manner, the best kind as far as Remus was concerned. He set aside his crisps and jar of mayo to watch Patton stomp over to the couch and throw himself down onto it with a muffled scream. Remus gave him a minute and sure enough, when he popped back up his outsides were back to their usual pop-star togetherness, with only the general dishevelment that came with throwing yourself on the couch suggesting that he was still ruffled on the inside.

"Which one was it today?" Remus asked, both of them well used to this by now.

"Logan." Patton admitted, the guilt with which he used to confess to these things long gone. There was only so many times you could rat your friends out in a day before the guilt gets replaced with general annoyance. Remus tsked sympathetically and offered Patton a nibbled crisp which was politely declined. Logan was always difficult when the “Patton/Remus question” came up. While they could expect the "subtle" prying from Virgil and Roman, Logan was a natural data-collector and it was clear to both of them that he was getting increasingly more confused with his results. They couldn't blame him, they were mainly based on nonsense.

"Did you finally tell him at least?" Remus asked, and that brought back a little of the guilt.

"No, I really wanted him to just figure it out today." Patton complained. "I mean, I didn't exactly go subtle!" And if they knew what to look for then Remus would have been inclined to agree. It was unfortunate, however, that only downside was Remus himself.

"While I can admit, dressing as the aro flag does have that on-the-nose quality that I like, did he just think-"

"He thought I was wearing your clothes, yeah. He wrote it in his book as I was leaving." That was a bummer. With a sigh, Patton got up from the couch to change out of the green and back into his usual bubbly blues, flashing a tired smile to Remus who just gave a shrug in response.

"I'd say I'd join you next time but Virgil might think I'm coming on to him and then we'll have a whole new bout of drama." Which, now that he was thinking about it, might actually be fun. He lifted his head and a thoughtful, questioning look up to Patton and was met with a sternly raised eyebrow in return. He gave pleading eyes a try and Patton crossed his arms. "Fine." He sulked, and Patton nodded his head approvingly and finally left to change.

When he came back out, he had Remus's asexual blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a black arrow with just the word "HIS" in marker on the back. His own aromantic blanket, covered in crumbs with a similar arrow and “HIS” pointing back at him, was crumpled in Remus’s lap. The others’ colours just spoke a little more to them.

"They'll figure it out eventually." He affirmed as he sat down, trying to sound confident but falling a little more securely in the "hopeful" department.

"They better." Remus answered. "It's just getting embarrassing at this point."

Humming in response, Patton couldn't help but laugh as he thought about their friends and what their reaction would be to finding out their elaborate "secret lovers" theory wasn't true. Last he'd heard from Janus, Roman was convinced they were getting married soon.

They would probably tell the others eventually, Pride was coming up so they could do it then. Maybe, just maybe, it would occur to one of them to just ask. For now they would enjoy the secret soap opera their friends thought their lives were and give them the benefit of the doubt that they could figure it out on their own. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride! I realised I hadn't done anything for pride month so here's a little piece to get me out of my slump.  
> As always, come say hi on Tumblr, I'm there under the same username x  
> I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading!


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